MANY of you are aware that I’ve been dealing with the symptoms of multiple sclerosis (MS) for years now; in fact, the initial symptoms began nearly 15 years ago. I’ve grown accustomed to days where walking up and down stairs is a struggle, but it’s the cognitive problems that have begun to wear thin for me.
What do I mean by cognitive problems? Lesions in the brain are the primary culprit, but fatigue can also play a role. This morning, for instance, I had to phone our insurance company to confirm that my new neurologist is one of the approved providers. When asked to read our account number, I couldn’t seem to read it correctly. I read it to her at least six different times, and each time I made major mistakes reading it. She was kind and patient, and we finally managed to work it out (she was nice enough to look up our names in the network). I can’t tell you how frustrating that is! I kept substituting numbers for letters—again and again—and I KNEW that I was saying it wrong, but my mouth kept saying the wrong thing.
Sometimes, when Derek and I are doing our shows, similar problems creep into my brain, and I can’t seem to say what is in my mind. For this reason, I have to read my presentations, and even then I don’t always say what I see.
I’m not complaining, but I want to write this (while I can!) for all of you who also suffer from cognitive problems. Just remember, no matter how our brains function, the Lord loves us and can still USE us! Do what you can with each day—and claim victory for each and every step taken, word written, and song sung. Lift up Christ while you can! I praise the Lord for every struggle, for His reasons are perfect. Who am I to question?
BTW, I’ve had to type and retype this post numerous times due to typing errors (I tend to insert wrong words and transpose letters), but I’m so grateful to be able to write at all! Hallelujah! Christ reigns!