FINALLY, I can understand why my mind has been so divided regarding writing. For two years now, I’ve been struggling to complete the third book in the Laodicea series (Doctrines of Demons), but the story, characters, and general ‘feel’ of it has never quite satisfied me. It’s been a love/hate relationship: I love writing, but hate that this third book has proven to be such a landmine.
If you listen to PID Radio, then you likely know that I’ve been undergoing tests with a neurologist for multiple sclerosis (MS). Diagnosing MS is a long process that requires the neurologist to eliminate other possibilities (such as Lupus, Arteritis, Sjogren’s, and Lyme’s Disease, just to name a few of the dozens of differential diagnoses). I’ve had all but one test (lumbar puncture), and the neurologist still is calling it MS, so it looks like that’s what’s been ‘dogging’ me for years now.
One lesion in my right frontal lobe may be the cause of my ‘divided mind’ at times. It sits in a very creative part of my brain, so it’s conceivable that the lesion can affect my ability to ‘feel satisfied’ with the end product. Knowing this has brought me a sort of relief! The first two books in the series came together much more quickly, so I had begun to wonder if I would ever finish the 3rd and 4th books! Now that I have a better appreciation for the ‘organic’ impediment, I can move ahead–one small step at a time–without becoming frustrated by my slow progress.
So, despite the medical MS, I pray that the Lord will grant me His strength to complete the literary MS (manuscript). MS squared. That’s my formula for the weeks to come. Please, pray that the Lord will keep my mind clear and my fingers moving! You have all been so patient; I’d never have made it through all the ups and downs and ‘bad’ days without your prayers and encouragement.